What Can I Do When There Is A Third Party

Your worst fear has just been confirmed.  In the time it took you to reflect on your mistakes and set up a first meeting, your ex has found someone else to hold his or her hand. Your heart must be crushed and you feel like you’ve kept hoping for nothing. 

Stop right there! There is always hope! It doesn’t matter if your ex is snuggling up to someone new. Nothing about that situation has been carved in stone and the tides are always changing.

It’s Just a Rebound Relationship

Do you recall the term ‘rebound’? How about the phrase ‘he/she is on the rebound’? If you do, then you now know why there is hope after all.  For those who do not, a rebound relationship is a relationship that is meant to fill the void that your break up left you with.

Most of the time, they really are just to soothe a person’s wounds. More often than not, rebound relationships don’t last in the long run. Think of it this way, it’s like a cat tucking tail and running to lick its wounds.

Hold your head up high there soldier.  Being in a new relationship does not seal the deal and it most certainly doesn’t mean that your ex is in love with someone else.  However, this is the perfect time to kick get your butt, gear up, and get a move on.  Please note that when I say take action, I don’t mean reverting back to the grief-stricken person that you were and start plugging their phones with messages.  In times like these, the best course of action is to get to work and make yourself a better person.

As you wait this phase of your ex’s life out, keep yourself busy and engage yourself in a healthy dose of daily activity.  Why not get a date and go out? If you’re avoiding dating anyone other than your ex, then organize a night out with some close friends to keep yourself cheery and positive. Give it a couple of weeks and then you can start reaching out to your ex again.

Things that you should start doing

Take it slow!

As much as you want things to start moving at a faster pace, the sudden lack of space could backfire and send your ex bolting in the opposite direction.

Keep your intentions clean.

Yes, ultimately your goal is to get your ex back, but when he or she is involved with another person at the moment, it’s best to simply offer your friendship first.  Regaining a steady friendship is a great way to get news about what your ex is currently up to and it’s easier to suggest an outing as friends.

After you’ve braved your nerves and have gotten back in touch with your ex, there are some ways to re-forge a new and stronger relationship. You need to get a good rhythm going with your ex before you can work up to getting back together.

Reminisce about the good old days.

There’s no better way to make your ex see that he or she is not in the right relationship than to talk about the best days and memories that you have both shared.  Keep your chin and hopes up because the best memories have a really powerful way of determining the course of the future. Use your past to your advantage.

Review the concept of "The Rebound".

Think back to the way you felt when you and your partner broke up.  Didn’t it feel like there was this massive hole in your heart that you couldn’t fill on your own? This is how your ex probably felt too.

When there’s something that’s missing, the instantaneous reaction is to fill this gap with something even if it is only second best.  Thus, the concept of the rebound is born. The intensity of loneliness that your ex felt was enough to drive him or her into the arms of the next ‘nice guy/girl’ your ex meets.

Have patience.

When your ex has entered a new relationship, you need a good amount of self determination and patience.  After a while, your loved one will figure out that the person he or she is currently with is ultimately just a rebound which probably won’t go anywhere. 

3 Things That You Should Avoid Doing

Just like there are things that you need to do, there are also things you shouldn’t do.  Making mistakes is the thing that pushes your ex further away from you. There might be a chance that your ex would become more attached to his or her current fling if you continue making mistakes.

1. Do not openly and intentionally tell your ex that you don’t like the fact that he/she is involved with someone else.

2. Avoid getting down on your knees, pleading for the end of your ex’s new relationship. Not only is it an act of sheer desperation but it will only push your ex further away from you.

3. No dirty plays. Trying to ruin the relationship of your ex can and most probably will backfire.

You need to have faith that your ex will realize on their own time and in their own way that their new relationship is a shallow one meant to pacify the loneliness he or she is feeling. Think about what would be going through your own head if you were in a rebound relationship.  I know for sure that if it were me, I would constantly be taking my new partner making constant comparisons to my ex. 

Oftentimes, your ex is a choice that seems more appealing than your rebound.  Also, it’s a proven fact that when you take away or decrease the amount of attention you give someone, that person will eventually come to you.

Although it may seem a little cruel, you have to have the strength and courage to let your ex feel alone.  Don’t pamper your ex while he or she is engaged in a relationship because you’ll only end up protecting your ex when the relationship fails. It’s important that your ex gets a nice good dose of reality and will be compelled to make a move. With a little self control, whether or not your ex is in a new relationship, you can with him or her back. 

Are you frustrated in your attempt to get your ex back?

• Do you find that getting back your ex is an uphill task that last forever?
• Do you feel like your situation is impossible or reached a point of no return?
• Do you feel lost and cannot go on because of a breakup?
• Do you constantly check your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
• Are you feeling massively depressed
  
  If your answer to the above questions are filled with yesses, then I strongly recommend that you check out The Ex Recovery System.

This best seller ebook includes information about how you can improve your chances of Getting back together with you ex even if your situation seems impossible. Click here to check it out