My Ex Wants To Get Back With Me, What Next?

You’ve Got The Green Light, Now What?

Love is the one emotion, feeling and action that every person yearns for. If you have it, you feel like you can soar high as you want through the skies and believe that nothing can bring you down. All other feelings pale in comparison to love. And letting this unexplainable joy is the last thing anyone would ever want to give up.

When the person you love unconditionally is no longer by your side, the world turns gray, losing any color that it once had. And you find yourself sinking low, as if unable to move and breathe again.

No matter what happened to bring your relationship to a screeching halt, and no matter what painful and unwanted emotions you are feeling, you just can’t seem to break out of the spell.  You want your ex back and it’s natural.  I can’t blame you nor question what you want.

In the previous chapter, you got a handle on the things that could very well mean that your ex wants another shot. Once you’ve got the green light, don’t speed on down the runway just yet.  Please use your brain first. Think about the situation and what it could mean for your future.  Your initial thought may be "Yes! I want my ex back and I want him/her back as soon as possible!" but you may not be feeling the same way a few days later.

Here are some things that you need to have running through your mind at this point:

Hold your horses!

The green light from your ex isn’t a reason to get back in the race. Like everything else, you need time.  Even if you hate having to think about it, you need to know whether this decision is really the right thing to do.  At the same time, it gives your ex a moment to mull over what he or she wants as well.  Rushed decisions don’t always lead to happy endings.  Remember that.

Fool you once, shame on your ex. But being fooled twice? Shame on you. 

If your relationship had enough trouble to force you and your loved one to break up, getting back together means running the risk of going through the same problems again. You already know what the first break up felt like. It hurts beyond compare and you feel like the life has been sucked out of you.  Do you really want to go through that again?

Know the reasons behind the first break up and analyze it.

If the reason behind the break up is a not so clear, with your ex delivering lines like "I don’t know what happened" or "I don’t know what I was thinking", you definitely need to take a step back. You could get hurt again and it’s going to hurt much more the second time around. 

People are bound to forgive, no matter how difficult forgiving someone may be.

If the problems you had with your ex have never happened before and it was just a one-time error in judgment, it’s in your best interest to forgive and forget.  However, make sure that it really does only happen one time. 

Determine whether or not your ex is ONLY looking for the same emotional support that the relationship provided. 

The red flag to give you the heads up on this is if your ex is saying that he or she wants to be friends.  You aren’t the crutch to his or her emotional needs and you have to remember that. Make sure that when you get back together it’s the right emotions that are being spoken about. 

If your ex is only getting back with you because he or she feels sorry for you, it’s best to bail and do it quick.

Not only is it painful to know that your ex is only sticking around because he or she feels sorry for you, but it puts you in a bad light and makes you out to be needy and broken. Though it’s important that you ex knows how much you were hurt by the break up, there should be no pity involved. 

When your break up was caused by betrayal and unfaithfulness, don’t ask for details anymore and make sure that you ex doesn’t give you any.  It’s not your job to dig through the event and tell your ex where he or she went wrong.  It’s up to them and their dedication to giving the relationship another shot to shape up.

Are you frustrated in your attempt to get your ex back?

• Do you find that getting back your ex is an uphill task that last forever?
• Do you feel like your situation is impossible or reached a point of no return?
• Do you feel lost and cannot go on because of a breakup?
• Do you constantly check your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
• Are you feeling massively depressed
  
  If your answer to the above questions are filled with yesses, then I strongly recommend that you check out The Ex Recovery System.

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