Common Break Up Reasons

10 Red Flags That Signal The End

Relationships can often project the image of being pristine and blissfully perfect; giving no warning to the impending end that shatters the hearts of many.  If you want to know the reason why the relationship didn’t work out you have to realize that the "sudden" ending you weren’t expecting is actually not sudden at all.  

Failed relationships are the product of unresolved or undetected problems that have been left to stew and often, it begins before you and your ex ever even met.

Throughout the years that I have spent analyzing and giving out advice on relationships of other people, I have come to the conclusion that the roadblocks you may encounter within a relationship are rooted in a significantly decreased self-esteem in one or both parties. The success of your relationship is entirely related to your self-esteem because you can’t expect yourself to fully love another without loving yourself completely first.  Your self-acceptance is influenced greatly by how you are accepted by others.

As I’ve said earlier, I have spent a lot of time analyzing relationships, both successful and failed, and have ended up with the top ten red flags which would signal the looming end of a relationship.

Red Flag #1: Un-Equal Levels of Commitment

If the effort or commitment that two people invest in a relationship is not level with each other, problems can be expected. There are so many popular sayings that relate to this such as "it takes two to tango" or "meeting each other halfway".  

When one person in the relationship fails to hold up their end of the bargain, there is a riff formed.  With the continued lack of effort from one or both parties, this gap grows larger and you’ll undoubtedly find your relationship in deep waters.

To avoid this relationship bulldozer, you need to make a promise to yourself that you will give your all to keep the relationship afloat.  You have to be able to give without expecting anything in return and hit the eject button of any doubts or possibilities of failure.  If you have done this and the relationship still doesn’t work out, the failure can’t be attributed to a lack of commitment.

Red Flag #2: Fighting to Change the Unchangeable

The best way to alienate and insinuate that your partner is not good enough for you is to try and change their personality or their habits based on your preference.  Essentially, it’s like telling your loved one that you’re rejecting who they are as you attempt to make them conform to your standards and expectations. 

Trying to change someone is like willingly pulling the trigger of a loaded gun because of the ill feelings that will begin to stew within your partners mind.

It has to be understood that it’s next to difficult to change someone.  Sure, they may deviate from a hobby but in the end, their personality will remain the same.  Other than that, a change in a person has to come from within them and not forced by you.  With that being said, unless your partner wants to change for his or herself, your only option is to accept your boyfriend or girlfriend for who they are.  

If you can’t get over a difference or a certain aspect of the other’s personality, then you need to take this as a sign that you just might not belong with each other.

Red Flag #3: The Little Green Monster

Even if the little green monster (also known as jealousy) may start out a small problem, it has the tendency to grow until it consumes you.  Jealously is born from the bad combination of low self-esteem and an inferiority complex.  When these feelings are heightened to an unhealthy level, it leaves the person with a notion that they are unlovable and, unless resolved, have the power to eat a person up.

To get past jealously, some self-examination is crucial.  It must be realized that this has absolutely nothing to do with the partner and everything to do with the way you perceive yourself. Adjustment of your self-esteem is in order because once you love and value yourself as an individual; it takes a lot for someone else to bring you down.

Red Flag #4: Undue Pity for Yourself or Your Partner

The road to undue pity begins when someone feels like the odd man/woman out. When one party of the relationship is enjoying an active social life or a successful career, there are chances that someone is going to feel left out.  This is a common reason for relationships coming to a screeching halt.

Recovering from undue pity cannot be achieved by being complacent about the life of your partner.  Think about the things that you yourself would like to achieve and then work towards it.  If you are focused on your own personal goals, you won’t have the time to second guess your relationship or feel sorry for yourself.  Don’t forget that finding happiness ultimately starts from within.  

I suppose you can relate it to something said by Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Although we’re not dealing inferiority here, it’s similar because no can make you feel something you don’t want to feel. 

Red Flag #5: Expecting the Worst is Bad Juju

Think of your expectations as some sort of magnet.  If you expect something bad to happen, you’ll attract a bad vibe and the negative expectations will be rewarded with the very thing you do not want. In contrast, if you have good expectations, you will be rewarded with something amazing.
Loving and believing in your partner is the imperative action in any relationship.

If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.
~ THOMAS ALVA EDISON:

Going back to the metaphor of expectations being magnets, if you want to win the war and keep the relationship, you have to forget any negative expectations.  Only expect good things and good things will come to you.  Also, if you express complete confidence and faith in your partner, you have nothing but success to look forward to. 

How do I know this? Think back to all of the successful figures in human history.  When they talk about their success, they attribute it to the complete support of the people who believed in them.

>> Next 5 Common Reasons For Break-Ups

Are you frustrated in your attempt to get your ex back?

• Do you find that getting back your ex is an uphill task that last forever?
• Do you feel like your situation is impossible or reached a point of no return?
• Do you feel lost and cannot go on because of a breakup?
• Do you constantly check your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
• Are you feeling massively depressed
  
  If your answer to the above questions are filled with yesses, then I strongly recommend that you check out The Ex Recovery System.

This best seller ebook includes information about how you can improve your chances of Getting back together with you ex even if your situation seems impossible. Click here to check it out